I Review a Day at the Columbus Zoo

First off, let me say that I am not a connoisseur of public zoos. I have been to a few, Indy, Cincinnati, etc, but not enough to really have an arsenal for comparison. After spending a day at Columbus, though, I think I can write a fair review of my experience.
My first thought is, hopefully Labor Day weekend made our experience atypical as the crowd was more or less unbearable. I realize “unbearable” is relative, so I’ll clarify by saying “unbearable for those who get tired of waiting in line to eat, see a monkey, use a bathroom, or walk in a forward motion”. It was excessive.
We waited an hour in line to buy lunch only to end up with what would clearly not pass quality control for a Banquet box lunch. I would also expect that any food I pay that much for should stay in my body for at least long enough for the aftertaste to fade, but alas, it did not.
We are talking about a zoo, though, so let’s get to the animal portion of this review. Yes, there were some big animals and yes, they were very cool…one people cleared away enough to actually see them. Due to the crowd, however, we were not able to make it through the whole zoo! This was not due to the zoo being too large, just not laid out in a way that cooperates with a large crowd. We were able to see some large gorillas up close and the aquarium, while somewhat small, did give an up close experience for some pretty interesting fish.
We had a few really great moments which are worth mentioning. The red pandas are always nice to see and Isaac became very excited when he saw the elephants (or Giant Hortons). We were also lucky enough to see a monkey defiling a plastic footstool which, honestly, is now my second favorite monkey moment. Disappointment in the zoo itself comes from some of the smaller displays for animals which were worthy of much more. Seeing a Rhino in an enclosed gymnasium type of building was very non-dynamic for such an interesting beast. I want to see these animals outside in some sort of makeshift habitat so we can see them moving naturally, not laying on concrete. There were some habitats that were quite nice, but overall, not overly impressed.
I’m going to wrap up this review, as I’m writing it on my phone and surely it is full of typographical errors, and my battery is running low, so let me sum up with this: lunch 1/4 of our time at this zoo was spent on a lunch that cost more than our admission price. That’s going to piss anyone off to the point of tainting the entire experience. Plus they didn’t give us straws in our drinks. Not cool. Final rating: 2 suave monkeys seducing 5 plastic stools wishing they had a voice to say “no means no”.

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2 thoughts on “I Review a Day at the Columbus Zoo

  1. mum

    Leave it to you to make a rather unstellar experience into a fun feature article to read!! Hope you got some other good experiences out of this trip!!

    Reply

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